Saturday, March 9, 2013

whatever home was

                         She asked if I'd get serious a long time ago;
                                      as delicate seasons fervently transfigured beyond our ken, onto springtime riversides of daytime solace; lavishing green and reflected off melancholy mirrors of sea-foam memory surfacing; mud-filled walkways of early April desire, moss lingered and spoiled our Summer expectancy thrice over:          
                         I stared dully into a solemn afternoon courtyard; reluctantly drank in the morning, again off balance; morbidly enervated; repeating familiar oaths, fulfilling bleak prophecies; as studded mercury inhabits a dated thermometer, lungs gravely heaved within our third story window.
                         Her feelings admonished a brilliant blue dining-room table-set
                         in twentieth century livelihoods while
                         outside in the naked city
                         trolley platform foundations
                         perish above mitigated evening streets
                         gasoline dinner stoves exhale a
                         savory stench of dead gristle
                         arising into cloudless skyline obscurity, below
                         dead avenues of sacred flesh and routine existence
                         sallow moonshine grew cold around her tepid breath
                         chest sunk low and whimpering; smoker's cough and ruddy nave
                         wrought in due season, insidious playground of poignant May ruptured in
                         automobile traffic throngs of            
                         shimmering auburn deluge
                         at neighborhood bus-stops
                         humanity's misplaced squeal resounds in
                         glistening fonts of allegorical amalgamations
                         growing weary eating
                         at restaurants year-round
                         mindlessly grudging with
                         ourselves amid
                         boring Sunday boardwalks of
                         art-museums in placid August
                         sinuous heat ascends from
                         soiled mattress covers
                         another day's lease cosigned
                         by our bullshit.
                         don't pretend you're aristocratic
                         watching television
                         talk-shows late October night when
                         every day is Thanksgiving though
                         in the beginning it was Halloween when
                         we cared about our stupid guises and
                         fictional pastimes created by civil barbarians
                       
                         
                          Cindy is still
                          somehow sweet
                          in knee-highs stockings her
                          browned nipples trickling caffeine breast-milk effluent
                          on her pillow at midnight her
                          scent is soft and nimble as the cocaine commerce
                          beats down gritty alleyways of morning sickness her
                          voice shrieks immaculate violet feebly
                          awaiting planned parenthood purgatory
                         we share a bed-of late, her pregnancy prior to
                         our residential coquetry beside sill a.m. windows of
                         sunlight casements and predictable aftermath.
                                 We grew young and illumined aside soiled flowerbeds of daffodil and hyacinth. Crimson petals spread out across our delinquent readership. Winter gusts swept in prematurely off the east coast that year; we road-tripped across county mountain-lines. Rural and well acquainted; I drank truck-diner gin; suffered heartburn by the episcopal badlands, regurgitated nail polish on to Mt. Rushmore's historical visages. Gambled with the heavyhearted Navajo by the boarded Keystone precinct house. Slept with Belle Star on woolen bedspreads of rustic infidelity, inherited old western heirlooms worth hundreds, then threw 'em all away on the slot-machines
                        Discombobulated and starstruck; we overlapped timezones in your ex's convertible. Crystal meth freeways and overnight churchyard delirium.
                       Sullen and fatigued New Year's day, we parked on a residential hillside covered with snow beside a white and desolated graveyard; scattered drifts laden all around enmeshed tombstones.
                       We made love in the backseat with the radio buzzing, then slept and continued to sleep,
                                  we slept through leap-year's larkspur that February, awoke in mid-march to the sound of tractors clawing up plots of thawed earth from the adjacent cemetery. I leaned into the passenger seat and reached into the glove compartment for cigarettes.
                                  Without speaking we knew
                                  it was time
                                  to go
                                  home
                                  whatever that was.
                                           
                                               
                    
                          
                         

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