letting go of you

           something way over our heads

           happened years ago                                             physically &

           when I met you                                                                metaphysically

           a pubescent morning sky
           opened out onto                  

           early Autumn sidewalk cafes 

           on the outskirt of the city I
           failed noticing the
           withering auburn pine
           spreading
           solemn evening ashes
           supinely among
           a day shortening skyline
           outside our apartment window
           cars motored past in grim procession
           while loving 

           drugs and not

           you fore

           God had a plan

           it was all
           gonna come back
           automatic and 

           haunt me one day
           alone
           as darkening shadows played
           their way through
           our nightly bedroom curtains
           your grey apparition 

           danced round the foot of my bed

           at the evil stroke
           of vulnerable midnight

           perhaps it was not you who died

           but I 

           and this routine purgatory knew no rest

           nor end
           'til now

           I'd like to meet you at a local bar one afternoon

           or maybe a village train station

           trivially make eyes on an evening turnstile

           one rainy weekday in June
           when

           things  finally change
           and

           I terminally let go of you

           driving your spectral vision 

           six feet deep
           into
           the muddled soil